1

There was, in an age where you’d never see one, a western-style house that looked just like a castle.

“Wow, that’s nice.”

Standing in front of a building that seemed to be made from roughly stacked debris, Kyouichirou Teratsuki seemed genuinely impressed.

“S-sir, we heard you were coming over, so we tried to prepare as much as we could, but this is all very…” said the attorney that stood behind Teratsuki, reproachfully.

Besides the attorney, there wasn’t a single figure in the area surrounding the sealed mansion.

“So, you heard I was coming and tried to clean things up in a hurry, Mhm? Good thing I came over on such short notice then.” The person the attorney called “sir”, Teratsuki, sneered.

His seemingly young outward appearance made it near impossible to tell that, officially, he was actually 52 years old. Those who didn’t know any better might’ve assumed he was only around 30 — a mere half of that. Regardless, he had been, and still was the owner of a successful corporation that’d spread its influence into every market imaginable in a single lifetime. In a way, he was a one-man leader.

“Places like this are best seen when untouched by human hands.”

Teratsuki twirled the cane in his hand through the air. It didn’t really seem like he had a bad leg, so it was probably just for show.

“O…kay……”

The lawyer’s face was sullen. He’d only been able verify this place on a paperwork level. He was sure it was the home of his former employer. However, that employer, who he could never identify a next of kin for, died leaving behind debt, and now one of the creditors of that debt, Teratsuki, was demanding to be shown inside. But it was way too soon. He didn’t even have the decency to wait until after the funeral.

“Locked I see. Do you have a spare?”

“No, I don’t. Mr. Kigawa didn’t want anyone to trespass in here because he… he was quite the oddball.”

“Well, we’ll go through the window then. The alarm’s off, right?”

“Ah- y- yes, I expect so.”

Suddenly, Teratsuki struck the window into a nearby room with his cane. The window made an especially loud sound as the shards of glass fell to the ground.

“Ah!” Surprised, the lawyer drew himself away from the sudden noise. Meanwhile, Teratsuki was stepping into the building through the hole he made.

He then looked around the room and snorted with a dissatisfied “hmph.”

“Surprisingly normal, can’t say the same for the outside though.”

“I-is that not to your liking?” the lawyer inquired as he followed behind Teratsuki, but Teratsuki steadily progressed into the room without answering. He then presumptuously went around surveying the deceased man’s house.

While following just behind, the lawyer thought “This guy’s scarier than I thought……” as he stared at Teratsuki’s back. Was he really going to pick at Mr. Kigawa’s inheritance like a vulture until there was nothing left? It was like he didn’t have any mercy.

Then, upon coming up to a certain room, Teratsuki’s pace came to a sudden halt.

“Hey.”

Having been called out to, the Lawyer let out a surprised “Y-yes?”

“This place doesn’t have a blueprint either, right?”

“Y-yes, it doesn’t.”

“I see, looks like we’ll get along just fine,” he muttered with a smirk.

“Huh……?”

Teratsuki advanced into the room. It looked like a storage room, as there were various boxes stacked all around. A few boxes had been brought in at some point, all labeled things like “vanilla extract,” “honey,” “chocolate,” and “jellybeans.” The labels were likely correct, given the the strange, sickly-sweet smell that enveloped the entire room.

“……?” The lawyer knitted his eyebrows. Mr. Kigawa Norisuke was famously a drinker, and well known for not eating sweets.

So, why? Why did he have a mountain of them stacked in his house?

Teratsuki, who had been methodically tapping the floor with his stick as he walked, stopped.

“Here?”

There was nothing there; it was just an ordinary floor tile adjacent to where the carpet ended.

Right when the Lawyer started to wonder what he was talking about with a puzzled expression, Teratsuki Kyouichirou spoke out abruptly,

“Hey, you’ve done enough. Get out of here.” The way he said it was cold.

“Wha? No, you can’t just—”

“I’ll take it. The whole place. That should cancel out his debt with me. I’ll handle the other creditors as well. Meaning, you won’t be in charge of Kigawa Norisuke’s finances anymore.”

“Ah, no, that’s --”

“Got a problem with that? If so, you’ll have to find a new buyer. You think you can do that? If you think you can, you’re welcome to try…”

Teratsuki glared at the lawyer, who recoiled like a frog that’d just been caught by the gaze of a snake.

“Ah, no, I-I understand. I’ll get everything ready right away!”

“You should hurry back and take care of all that then.” Teratsuki lost interest in the lawyer after that and fixated his eyes on the floor once more. The lawyer quickly evacuated from the area, and was gone.

“Now then...”

Now alone, Teratsuki started to laboriously tap the floor with his cane once more. It was vague, but the way the sound echoed changed when he struck this tile compared to the others. Clearly, there was some sort of large cavity on the other side of this floor.

As the door in the ceiling opened with an audible “clank,” a young man, who was sitting down on a sofa and hanging his head, let out a deep sigh.

“It’s no use, Norisuke. I still can’t tell how it’ll turn out at all.” His voice was in a tone that was higher pitched, like that of a boy, but his stature was that of a fine adult.

“Mr. Kigawa Norisuke won’t be coming anymore.” The voice was coming from above.

Surprised, the young man looked up. Teratsuki, who was standing on the spiral staircase leading into the room, looked intrigued.

“You have a pretty face. It reminds me a little of Michelangelo’s ‘David,’” he nodded with a grunt.

“………” The young man continued to look at him blankly.

“This your first time?” Teratsuki asked.

“……Huh?”

“I was asking if this was your first-time meeting someone other than Norisuke.”

“……A, ah. Yeah, but—”

“My name is Teratsuki Kyouichirou. You can call me Kyouichirou. And your name is?”

“Tosuke. Kigawa Tosuke.” He introduced himself with a whisper.

“Guess you understand me. Seen anything good on TV?”

“I… stopped because it was boring.”

“Oh? Why was it boring?”

“Everyone just says and does the same thing. And everyone just looks the same. It’s stupid.”

“That harsh, isn’t it?” Teratsuki smiled cheerfully.

Then, he took another look around the basement.

The ceiling was lined with glass, so it let plenty of light pour in from outside. The space didn’t feel insular. There was also a fitted kitchen that was so extravagant it could have been in a first-class restaurant. Though, it was clear that none of it was professionally installed. The equipment was pretty all over the place, after all.

And then there were the refrigerators.

Five huge things, all lined up, and all making a low humming sound that echoed through the whole room.

“You don’t like other people?” Teratsuki asked.

“……” The young man, Kigawa Tosuke, sank into silence once again.

“What did you think of Mr. Kigawa Norisuke? He did lock you up in here, right?”

Don’t say ‘locked up.’ I’m the one who chose to be somewhere like this in the first place.

“Is it scary outside?”

“………” Tosuke glared at Teratsuki, and Teratsuki looked right back at him.

“That skin of yours…” when he heard that, Tosuke’s body stiffened. “Would that be the other reason why you don’t like TV?”

“………”

“Peppermint green. The only people with that kind of skin color are painted that way to look like aliens. People like you fundamentally don’t belong in this world.”

“…… I know that I’m different than everyone else.”

“Hmm”

“And, I know that if I go outside people will look at me weirdly.”

“That’s okay.”

“But I don’t mind. Since Norisuke’s here. He gave me a reason to live.”

“And what’s that?”

“He eats my ice cream.” He extended his somewhat translucent, pale green hands. “Making all kinds of ice cream is really fun, and I like it when Norisuke gives me his opinion on it. Though, sometimes he says harsh things, like ‘This is the same thing you made last time.’ But, when he praises me, it feels really nice.”

“So, you’ve spent more than 10 years doing that?”

“I’ve been doing that for as long as I can remember, but I never think it’s tedious and I don’t really want to do anything else. Even though Norisuke brings me things like games and books, I start losing interest in them when I compare it to making ice cream. All that stuff just isn’t for me. But making ice cream is different. It’s something that I do with my own hands.

“I see……” When Teratsuki lowered his head, Tosuke asked,

“What happened to Norisuke?”

“He died.” Teratsuki replied quickly and mercilessly.

“………” Tosuke sank into silence again, his face covered in wave of anguish.

Teratsuki said to him, “You know what that means, right? To ‘die’?”

“I know.” Tosuke seemed annoyed as he shook his head.

“And I’m done for too, aren’t I?” He didn’t seem very sad. It might have just been the wrong time for it, or it could have been that it wasn’t possible for him to even feel that way.

“Done for, huh?”

“You just came here for the spectacle, didn’t you? Norisuke isn’t around anymore, so there’s no one here to protect my green body. I knew it was only a matter of time before this day would come,” he muttered feebly. Teratsuki looked at him calmly.

“How long have you known that you weren’t normal?”

“I’ve always known.”

"Did he tell you anything about where you were born?"

"No, I’m probably not Norisuke’s son, but he always acted like I was."

“Well then, I wonder—” Teratsuki approached Tosuke and walked on by. He faced the refrigerators.

“……?” As Teratsuki opened one of the refrigerators, Tosuke looked at him quizzically.

It had been completely converted into a freezer, and in it were bowls and bags packed full of various colors of ice cream. It was absolutely crammed full of them.

“Outside of here, Mr. Norisuke almost never seemed to eat sweets. Yet despite that, for some reason, he still ate your ice cream. I find that extremely intriguing.”

“Yeah—” Tosuke smiled suggestively.

“There was a pretty simple reason for that.”

“And that is…?”

“It’s because my ice cream was just that good. After eating my stuff, none of the other sweets he ate came anywhere close.” He’d said it with complete confidence, and his eyes glittered with an innocent pride.

“Oh? Mind if I have a sample then?”

“Ah, give me a sec!”

After popping up out of the sofa he was sitting on, Tosuke produced a single pack from inside one of the refrigerators. Then, upon scooping it out with a tool taken from an assortment of them, he chose a dish from a remarkably complete set of tableware and arranged the ice cream onto it. As he gently placed a single leaf of mint onto it, he said,

“Here, enjoy!” Tosuke added a spoon and presented the ice cream to Teratsuki. He was truly skilled.

His face turned to surprise.

“This…!” He started shoveling more into his mouth.

Tosuke grinned as he stared at Teratsuki.

“How is it? I’m pretty proud of that one if I do say so myself.”

“Yes, and for good reason. I’ve never run into anything like this before. It’s amazing.

“Hehe…” Tosuke scraped the tip of his nose confidently.

Then, as Teratsuki put down his spoon, a faint smile appeared on his face.

He slowly reexamined his surroundings.

You’d think that this place was a small empire; it’s like a minature dreamland where ice cream reigns supreme. Kigawa Norisuke must have gone to some great lengths getting all this set up.

Teratsuki brought the spoon to his lips and savored the cold and sensually sweet taste spreading through his mouth.

“Was this Norisuke’s favorite?”

“Eh? Ah— no. That one seemed too strong for him.”

“—Then, why did you give it to me?”

“I thought it would fit you better.”

“I definitely like it, but how did you figure that out?”

“Hmmm” Tosuke’s face started to look troubled. Then, he said something that didn’t make sense.

“How? It’s the pain you carry.”

“...Pain? What do you mean?”

“Your pain. When I look at you, I can feel something in my chest, right here…”

Tosuke tapped a bit above and to the side of his solar plexus as he said this.

“It’s like, I feel that there’s this light, almost fuzzy pain there. That pain made me think that you’d like this ice cream. I would always change what ice cream I gave Norisuke depending on the kind of pain he had at the time.”

“.........” Shuddering, Teratsuki took in Tosuke’s words.

"...Can you actually feel a person's preferences? As in, what’s best for their mind and body? Feel it physically, I mean."

“......I don’t know, that sounds too hard, but I’m pretty confident in figuring out what kinds of ice cream people like. It wasn’t just Norisuke— you liked it too, right?

“That’s certainly the case.” Teratsuki let his gaze fall on the ice cream.

This wasn’t just some ordinary, delicious food anymore. Now, in Teratsuki’s eyes, this was a “weapon.”

The man shut his eyes and let out a small sigh.

“All they told me was that Kigawa Norisuke was in charge of keeping a failed experiment that needed to be taken care of, just another one of those things you have to do as a part of the Towa Organization. But I never expected this… Hell, with this I could probably take on the whole world,” he muttered softly.

“Hm? What was that?” Tosuke didn't catch Teratsuki’s enigmatic words very well. Teratsuki opened his eyes and turned to Tosuke.

“I assume there’s plenty more ice cream where that came from?”

“Of course.”

“Good, good… Then how about this? Tosuke, don’t you feel like showing your talents to the world?”

“Huh?” Tosuke blinked his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“If your skin’s an issue, we could find a way to cover it up fairly easily. There are all sorts of ways to do that. But, more importantly, have you ever thought about taking over the world with ice cream?”

“......Are you making fun of me?” Tosuke started to look a bit annoyed.

However, Teratsuki gently said,

“No, no. I am very, very serious,” as he spread his hands out just a bit. “I was thinking of adding you to a division of my company — the fast food division, to be exact — and I’d also make you that division’s king.”

“.........?” Unable to understand what he was saying, Tosuke just blinked his eyes.

…...And so began the fall of Kigawa Tosuke.

* * * * *

Think it’s a weird name? Well, it’s whatever. It’s just got a nice ring to it. Doesn’t mean I’m actually a captain or anything though. Hehehehe.

Anyway—

As far as our wizard's concerned, coming this Teratsuki Kyouichirou guy at the beginning of this tale was some crazy luck. I mean, that guy not only saved him from being beaten to a pulp, but he’d even given him a place to show his stuff. ‘Course, at the same time, meeting Teratsuki was also a bottomless pit of misfortune for our wizard here. Wanna know why? Well, it’s cause, essentially, Teratsuki didn’t have a future… When you think about it, it’s pretty fucked up. Especially since the man himself was well aware of it.

And you know what, I think that’s what makes him a cut above the rest, ‘cause guess what, wizard, the way I see it, deep down, Teratsuki was always going to betray the exact organization that a little shit like you were part of.

But seriously, Teratsuki, that was a guy who knew what he was doing. In fact report on Tosuke went something like this:

“He’s too valuable to be disposed of. The ability to produce a flavor that charms other people could be of great use to the Towa Organization's experiments.”

He also said,

“The flavors he produces have a particularity about them that can’t be found anywhere else, and, to that end, by stimulating the nerves responsible for taste, it may let once dormant traits awaken, bringing about the possibility of a new change in the minds of humans.”

And so on, and so on. Point is, he kept saying that all these flavors might have some kinda dangerous part to them that could change the structure of a person. Was it true? No one could say at that point, but he said he was going to do some experiments on it to find out. Hell, it could have been just some bullshit excuse, but we really didn’t have the data to prove otherwise.

It was believable enough though, so the system bought it. I mean, after all, they can do whatever the hell they want. But they weren’t idiots, so they secretly planted an agent to monitor everything…

Well anyway, through this and that, Tosuke Kigawa managed to narrowly escape death; though, of course, he didn’t understand any of that. And his role to plant a “bomb” inside each and every person? He doesn’t understand a lick of that either. Ignorance sure is bliss, huh?

In the end, thanks to Teratsuki’s scheming, Tosuke was never told a damn thing, including who he really was. Did Teratsuki think this was for the best? Or was his soul that malicious? Well, no way of knowing that now. Either way, Kigawa Tosuke, a boy who’d spent all his time at that estate, was strung along by Teratsuki, and he stepped out into the outside world understanding nothing.

* * * * *

“First of all, mind putting this on your face?”

As Teratsuki handed over a set of foundation and make-up, Tosuke blinked.

“......You got this all for me?”

“No, no I already had it lying around. Truth be told, I’m also fairly fond of disguises.” Teratsuki grinned.

“Oh yeah?”

Tosuke, who had failed to grasp what he was talking about, covered his green skin with makeup just as he was told. Through his dexterity, he managed to apply it cleanly without messing up.

The two of them stepped out of the estate and into Teratsuki’s BMW. There wasn’t a driver. Despite being incredibly wealthy, he preferred to drive himself.

“By the way, about that ice cream,” Teratsuki started talking to Tosuke, “you’re really good at picking out a flavor for each person; but, will you be okay picking out a flavor that fits a crowd of people?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you can’t do that, then it wouldn’t be fast food. It needs to be the same every time. You can have some variety but having a ton of subtle and varied flavors just isn’t realistic.”

“Huh,” Tosuke nodded, “Is that how it works?”

“Can you do it?” As Teratsuki asked this, Tosuke raised the edge of his lips, and snorted his nose, like Teratsuki was calling him an idiot.

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Meaning…?”

“How would I handle everyone? I wouldn’t need to. It’ll be easy to find a flavor that fits everyone.”

“Really? And how will you do that?”

Tosuke whisked his finger into the air and declared,

“All I need to do is cut a few corners,” with a smug look on his face.

……And so commenced the glory of Kigawa Tosuke.

[1] The word used here is ‘Itadaku,’ a more informal variant of the well-known phrase “Itadakimasu.” Which means to give thanks for everything that went into the food.

[2] Captain Walker is most likely a reference to The Who’s 1969 rock opera Tommy. In it, there is a character named Captain Walker, who is the father of the main character.